I sometimes wish I was born mute. Because whenever I speak I land up hurting or offending people. Many a times, I didn’t intend to hurt people but still they were hurt.
The problem is that I often fail to understand what effect some words have on people; impulsive as I am, I speak whatever comes to my mind, later I realise how terrible I was. But till then the damage has been done. I have hurt family, friends, everyone.
The most befitting punishment should be isolation. Complete isolation. Terrible people like me deserve neither family nor friends. All I deserve is loneliness. I lessen my communication to people. Then only I can save myself and others from such situations
If this isn’t fiction and you’re really talking about yourself here, Priya, all I can say is that you aren’t alone in being ‘blunt’ and to the point. Many people say the first thing that comes into their heads before thinking the remak through. Some people still make tactless remarks in the belief that they should be honest at all times. Such people in the U.K. are said to ‘call a spade a spade’. Personally, I prefer the tactful more sensitive approach in order not to hurt people’s feelings. We can still be honest without causing offence. Perhaps you (or your character if this is fiction) should try to avoid blurting out the first thing that comes into your head. No ‘punishment’is necassary – this is just something that can be learned through experience. 🙂
Shouldn’t there be a punishment for blurting out and hurting people only because I got swayed away by the mood I was in?
I suppose we all have bad moods at times. Still, your punishment should be perhaps to practise holding your tongue. It isn’t nice at all to hurt people’s feelings on purpose, but if you’re being brutally honest, you just need to think before you speak.
I didn’t do on purpose. I was in an off mood because of some people and I reacted in an appropriate way to some other person
Then I think an apology should come first – which you may have already done. Most people will forgive you if they feel the apology is genuine. You’re cetainly not the first person to react badly to others when you’re in a mood yourself. You just need to accept that you were in the wrong (which you have already done) and apologise sincerely, explaining why you reacted like that.
Yes, but I don’t think that’s working out. I think I lost a friend just because of my impulsive behavior
If she really won’t accept a sincere apolology, Priya, perhaps she isn’t as good a friend as you thought she was. On the other hand, If she’s really hurt by what you said, it might just need a little time for her to calm down. She might be prepared to listen later on. It is hard to apologise, but it’s also hard to forgive people who’ve upset us sometimes. Perhaps you both need a little time.
Maybe by that I’ll adversely affected by the void
Perhaps that’s a risk you need to take. You know your friend best, and how she might react to however you choose to handle things.
I think my friend hates me because I hurt him when even his mood was off. He might never want to see me again
I doubt very much that he hates you. But I think a heart-felt apology (and an explanation about your own bad mood) might help a lot. 🙂
I tried. I dunno. His reaction makes me feel that he will never talk to me
Be patient, and be nice to him. Let him see you really are sorry. Tell him how much his friendship means to you and that you acted without thinking. If all that fails, just leave him alone for a while. He may see things differently when he’s had time to think about it. Hope it all works out for you. I know how upset you are.
Thanks Millie. Thanks a lot
I’m not sure I’ve helped, Priya, but I really hope things work out for you. You do seem very upset about it all. Lots of hugs to you. <3
Your comforting words really meant a lot to me. Felt like someone from family spoke to me
That’s lovely to know, and I just wish I could help you more. I know how much friendships means to people of your age. I’ve had six children pass through your age, and I’ve taught students your age for years. And heck, I remember my own younger days, too. 🙂 I still have hopes that your friend will see you’re really sorry and forgive you. Keep your chin up. <3
Ya I will
Many a times it’s seen that I want to convey something, people get the wrong message
Impulsiveness can be curbed with age. I know you won’t like to hear this, but you are still young, and all this is part of life’s learning process. Just slow down and really think about what your reply should be.
I’ll try on that